Broken
by Felicity101
Summary: The man that seemed unbreakable-BROKE. The man who seemed so strong-CRUMBLED. The man who always laughed it off-CRIED. And the man who never stopped trying- FINALLY GAVE UP...


**A/N: This is something that I wrote a while back. I was experimenting with different ways that the Half-Life series could end, and this was one of them. I decided against it, though.**_  
_

* * *

The man that seemed unbreakable-**broke**.  
The man who seemed so strong-**crumbled**.  
The man who always laughed it off-**cried**.  
And the man who never stopped trying-  
**Finally Gave**** Up...**

Alyx fondled the crimson roses adorning the mahogany casket, one of the many people in line to pay their respects. Her delicate hand ran across the smooth, glossed wood, and tears streamed down her cheeks, glistening in the soft evening light. Her breath shuddered as the young woman removed her hand and grasped the gold and amethyst necklace he had given to her just minutes before they found him.

She was still in a state of absolute shock, but it wasn't enough to destroy or even numb the sensation of confusion and crushing grief. It had been so sudden and unexpected. He had always seemed so strong and jovial, his soft, full lips ever-smiling and confidence never fading. Nobody had ever suspected that he had been masking any sorrow and remorse, let alone enough for him to take his own life.

Alyx could recall the moment that they found him with haunting clarity. He had been lying face down on the mattress, the hand dangling from the bed grasping a gun with a death grip. Blood pooled around his head and soaked the pillow and linen sheets with crimson. Tears drenched his face, and once vivid eyes were cracked open, now lacklustre and lifeless. Fresh incisions crisscrossed his wrists and bare chest, the knife that inflicted them tucked beneath the pillow. Taped up to the was was a note scribbled in cursive that said the following:

_"To whom it may concern,_

_I'm sorry, but I can't take this anymore. This life has become too much for me to bare, and I can't see any other way out of the pain. Please, please don't be angry or sad or upset in any way; you all have to go through too much of that as it is.  
_

_I regret never telling you all this before, because if I had, maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't have come to this. Now all I can do is tell you **why**.  
_

_I've never really been happy, even before my life headed downhill. I have always had this lingering feeling of worthlessness and grief, and absolutely nothing I do seems to make it go away. But somehow, I always managed to carry on with the dark cloud constantly over my head, struggling to hide it from everyone around me. Recently, though, the pain's been unbearable. Eli's death was what really put me over the edge. After that, it was only a matter of time before I broke.  
_

_I'm so sorry that I have to put you all through this, but I need you to know that the only reason why I didn't so this sooner was that not only did you need me, I knew what you all would feel. Now that the war is won, I have no part in this brave new world, and knowing the impact on others can only keep you going for so long.  
_

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."_

Fresh tears swelled in her dull amber eyes as her mind forced her to remember that last thing that he wrote. It had left her in utter shock and disbelief, but most of all grief and regret. She should have told him when she had the chance, but now...now, it was far too late.

_"My last request: Tell Alyx that I love her. I tried to tell her when I gave her the necklace, but something made my throat seize up before the words could leave my mouth. I don't know; maybe if I had told her, and she said she did too, I wouldn't have done it. That would've given me something worth living for."_

Alys screwed her eyes shut, letting the tears fall down her cheeks. Her hand tightened around the pendant, almost as if she was grasping onto the last bit of his soul that was still with them, still with her.

"I love you, too, Gordon Freeman..."


End file.
